“If you have to have finite answers, for infinite questions, you’re not going to move.” – Madeleine L’Engle
It’s the last day of this week’s devotional on doubt. Time to wrap it up nicely with a neat bowtie and say, “Okay, no more doubt!”—right? If only it were that easy. As time goes on, I seem to have more questions than answers. What I know best is I don’t know that much and that sometimes our questions aren’t problems to be solved but tensions to be managed.
To doubt God honestly is to have real questions that produce a true sense of searching. We said this past Sunday that doubts can be good when they drive you closer to God. That’s honest doubt. To doubt God dishonestly is to hold onto our questions as an excuse to not engage with Him any further.
Have you ever shared something difficult with a friend, then wrapped up your sentence with, “…but it is what it is, I’ll be fine.” We try to effectively close the conversation and protect ourselves from looking weak. That’s because we are afraid to have our feelings in full and be broken in front of people. We are willing to be honest, but not vulnerable. Honesty tells the truth about our feelings, but vulnerability lets someone into those feelings with us and opens ourselves up to the possibility of being changed. What if we brought our honest doubts to God? And what if we didn’t feel the need to be alright but felt the freedom to be undone? What if we let Him know how we feel and allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with Him?
Prayer: Lord, I bring my doubt to you. I know it is okay to not be okay. May my doubts result in action, not apathy. Because you listen to my prayer, I will listen for your response. Amen